i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
