So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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