im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
