There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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