Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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