WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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