I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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