Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
