I'm gonna have a badass scar
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
