Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
