a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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