why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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