i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize