Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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