Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
