life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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