NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We have started to decorate penises.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
