I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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