I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
