He uses pillows to masturbate.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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