You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
