I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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