the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
