All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
