i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
