She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
