Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
