so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
