so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
