I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
