grandma shit on top of the toilet
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
