Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
