i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
