5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
