im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I looked at my own cervix.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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