I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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