Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dignity is for republicans.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
