Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
