he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
