so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
