I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He felt like a one man threesome
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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