We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
