Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
