Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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