Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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