my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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