butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
