I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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