His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
