she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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