Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
