dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My ass is underappreciated
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
