am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
