just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
