planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
This is my gift to your gina
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
