he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
