He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Damn victory sex feels great
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize