Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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