Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
