i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
